Witness to an abandonment

While at the orphanage, I was witness to an event that had a profound impact on me, and was of great significance to me as an adoptive parent – Abandonment.

Of course the event caused an emotional response in me that I had rehearsed in my mind several times, in the extremely improbable event that I would be faced with the “Truth” behind our daughters origins.

It’s one of those things that me as an adoptive parent am forever labeled as “unable to understand”. “The pain of separation” is something that only abandoned children must truly reconcile with, while I am left to read books and consult with therapists in order to prepare myself with the inevitable discussions with my daughter.

In many ways we are all left, at one point or another in our lives, with facing these unanswerable questions of loss and grief. I only am cursed with the fact that I will be unable to truly share this pain that my daughters will hopefully learn to cope with.

And while most of us adoptive parents are left to sift through the reports about our daughter’s abandonment, in those very nicely printed and sealed documents that are presented to us by the orphanage or government staff, we wonder what REALLY happened, and wonder if we really WANT to know what happened.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to know or understand these things, but during my time in Siping I had the distinct honor of being part of a story which few beyond the orphanage walls are privy to, which is the beginning of the great story of a baby.

I named her “baby Joyce”. Of course Joyce isn’t her real name, but it was the name I gave her. I know that her forever family will have a name for her, and I can’t wait to hear what it is.
It started with Hannah and I preparing to leave the Siping orphanage. The director thanked us for our donations, and in particular, for our support of needed surgeries.

I had my camera, videocamera, and notepad tucked away in my backpack, when Hannah and the director began chatting vigorously between each other. Hannah looked very intense, and when they spun on their heels and went back towards the orphanage, I knew something was up.
When Hannah began to talk back at me as she was climbing the stairs, a chill gripped me, and I felt unable to breathe. Hannah said there is a foundling upstairs, who is less than 3 days old. She was found only hours ago, and has a special need, which is the suspected reason for her abandonment.

Hannah’s eyes locked with mine as she said, “We’re going to take a look.”

I knew that look from Hannah. I had seen it many times before. Hannah doesn’t “take a look”. Hannah is an Angel, and she saves lives. I knew right away that we were now path of destiny, one which now involved a little girl.

The head of the orphanage was a few paces ahead of us, and as we finished our climb up the steps, I saw her duck into a room at the end of the hall. When we arrived, I saw a room full of spare equipment, and looked down and saw only a pile of clothes.

Only it wasn’t a pile of clothes. It was an oblong and white, and was angled on a bouncy seat. Only when I saw a tiny head move did I gasp in surprise.

All alone in the little room, the tiny girl lay swathed in blankets. Hannah knelt down beside her and stroked her face, and little tiny eye slits parted, revealing crystalline brown eyes.

Hannah chatted with the orphanage director, as they discussed the child.

She still had amniotic fluid dried in her hair. Her bellybutton still had the remnants of the umbilical cord.

My eyes went wide as I realized that the mother of this child was probably still nearby. She would still be recovering from the birth of the child. While I am not worthy to even speculate as to her thoughts, I began to grieve for her (which I know is still presumptuous of me).

I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. I am near to the nexus of the most unknowable part of this child’s life, of the causes of why and how. And I know that even as this girl comes of age, and I am able to talk with her and share with her all the photos and pictures, and memories, and thoughts and opinions I have, I still will not be able to provide her with any answers.

But I will be able to tell her that we found solutions.

The director and Hannah came to an agreement that Hannah would be able to care for this child in the short term. I can only hope I played a part in the decision, letting her know that we would do what it took in order to make sure this child received the operation she needed.

We took her to Hannah’s facilities where she was cleaned up and placed in a crib.
Hannah continues to monitor her progress, and I look forward to seeing her surgery go through successfully.

Click Here to see a video of this really cute child

Siping Park in the Morning

I spent one night in a very nice hotel in Siping.

The next morning I awoke early, and took a walk around a nearby park.

Even on just an ordinary day, the park was alive and bustling with people.

There were several elderly people engaging in various social activities, like singing, or playing the erhu and singing opera, or exercising. There were young people running around looking bored and up to various mischief. And there were young children being escorted around by elder family members, no doubt on their way to school.

The park was really neat, a mix of a carnival theme park, and a quite area of respite for those looking to take a meandering journey through gardens.

Click Here and Here to see some video of the park

When I returned to the hotel, I ate breakfast in the lobby, and saw that there was a wedding reception going on. A great group of people were together, and the bride and groom, still in fancy dress, were walking around greeting people, and serving BEER and BIJOU (the strong stuff). All still before 9am!

The Siping SWI

I had a lovely visit to the Siping SWI. Not only had Packages of Hope provided a hot water heater, some books and bookshelves (Libraries of Hope), some tables and chairs, an incubator, a digital camera,

and needed surgeries, but we had also formed a good relationship with the staff there. This is primarily due to Hannah, who, over the years has been through thick and thin with the orphanage director. We've achieved a level of trust that I'm very proud of, and thus we are able to do more for the children there, and stay informed of the real needs of the orphanage.

We found out that the orphanage is visited, on average, once a month by foreign visitors. Many come from the USA, but they also come from Norway and Sweden, and also from Taiwan. I am trying to see if we can coordinate some of these groups, in order to see if we can maximize our impact for the children there. There is certainly a lot of need there, in terms of surgeries and care for the children. If anyone would like to coordinate efforts, please let me know! I'm here to help!

Click here for more video of those lovely Siping cuties!

The Siping School for the Deaf

Right next door to Hannah's facility is the Siping School for the Deaf. Two of the students here are from the orphanage. Many of the others are children of very poor farmers in the area. Generous donors have provided sponsorships for these students, and we are very grateful. There are still students than need sponsoring, so if you feel so inclined, your donations are welcome!

Again thanks very much to the donors for helping out with these very bright children!

When I returned, many of the students recognized me! One in particular, a boy named Zhang, just ran up to me and gave me a big hug! We helped to provide a hearing aid to him in 2005 (see the blog post here - under "Siping School for the Deaf")

I had a GREAT time with them, and you can see my video with them here


I think you'll find the video very amusing. The kids were marveling at the presence of hair on my arms and chest, and then pointing out the lack of the same on my head!

We had such a fun time!

I do not know what it is like to be deaf, but I do know what it is like to have the absence of a sense. I am severely myopic, and without contact lenses, I'm basically blind. So I understand that there's different ways in which one can process information from the outside world.

When the school children came up to me, they recognized me immediately from when I was there nearly 2 years ago. They were so happy to see me, and this made my heart soar.
Then, they surrounded me, and began to touch me. The teachers started to scold them away, knowing that this is not "proper" behavior, but I told them not to worry about it. I understood that a lot of their world is tactile, or touching. I can understand this, because without my contact lenses in the morning, that's the only way I'm able to get around - by touch!!

It was so endearing how they were touching me, although I was a bit embarrassed when they wanted to see my stomach to see if there was hair there!

But they wanted to see all the things in my bags, and wanted me to empty my pockets. They carefully went over everything, just absolutely curious about every detail. I even gave them some of my hand sanitizer, which was met with great discussion amongst the kids.

Hannah's Siping Center

I returned to Hannah's Siping center, and was happy to again visit with the Nannies that I had met over a year ago.

I was able to meet a feisty little boy, who we had assisted in provided surgery for. He is absolutely too cute for words. So, I'll include some pictures!

This little boy had a tumor on the back of his head removed, and he is doing just great!

Click here for a video of this brave little boy! (username:packagesofhope, password: donate, you may have to enter it twice).

Hannah has 9 children here, and utilizing western style care, has yielded amazing results. Thanks to all those who have donated to Hannah, so that she can keep her doors open, and provide hope for these needy children!

(I was captivated by this girl's eyes!)

(this little girl was afraid of me, she only allowed the nannies to hold her. But she was too curious, and couldn't go down for her nap. She kept creeping out of her bed to nudge the door open to look at me, but then quickly closed it!)

(finally, we found a way into coaxing her to pose with me for a picture -- CANDY! I enticed her with a treat, and she decided she would put up with me enough for a quick snapshot. She is SO cute!!)

On The Road to Siping

The following day, we made our way to Siping!

On the way, we saw some interesting sights!

I also wanted to share with you my "hidden camera" view of life in a elementary schoolyard.

This was outside the window of the Siping Center. Click HERE to see the video on the way to Siping! (username: packagesofhope, password: donate, you may have to enter it twice)

Click here to see some of the Siping SWI! (username: packagesofhope, password: donate, you may have to enter it twice)

Hannah's Changchun Center

I visited Hannah's Changchun ASCCAC center (American Special Chinese Children Assistance Center).

Hannah receives children from orphanages all over China, but mostly in the Jilin area. The children she receives are mostly special needs children, many of whom are in need of immediate care, or those who are recovering from surgeries.

Funded entirely by donations (most of which come from America), Hannah provides western style care to these children with astounding results.

I hope to relate to you a few of these miracle stories, and plead with those of you who really want to make a big difference for orphaned children in China:

Hannah needs our help!

Only through our support is Hannah able to bring many of these children from the brink of death, and in a few months time, have happy, healthy, thriving children to give to the world. The GREAT news is that many of these children have been matched to parents, and will be going to their forever families SOON!

We appreciate ALL that Hannah is doing for these children, and we will work for Hannah for the children of China!

Click HERE to see a video of Hannah's center in Changchun!